Self Control

It has been a few days my friends!

As a general catch up, I forgot my tablet yesterday (oops!), water intake has been fine all week and today I had two meals instead of one to shake things up a bit (and ironically, could not be bothered going to the shops to get more shakes).

I wanted to touch on something important today. On Thursday, I had a family luncheon up the mountains. To give you an idea of what this consists of, it typically starts off with some savoury snacks like pretzels, chips, crackers and cheese followed by either a barbeque or roast including red meat, some kind of mixed green salad and potato. By avoiding potato (unless you're on a carb cycle day - more on that later) it's generally a well balanced meal with plenty of greens and protein. Then comes the round of coffees and assorted nibbles.

On this particular occasion, it was my grandfather's 91st birthday (go Grandfather!). So, after the meal cake was served and I did indulge in a small piece, knowing full well that I had eaten nothing remotely bad all week. It was of course delicious, despite the fact it tasted extra sugary compared to all the non-sugary foods I had been eating recently. I made a conscious decision that that was it for me and I would have no more of anything to be put onto the table.

Which of course, was when my childhood favourites, Clinkers and my obsessive chocolate of choice, Rolos (which I have been known to consume an entire block of in dire times of needing comfort food) comes out in many bowls and placed on the table right in front of me. This was not easy. Sitting next to my cousin whom I always enjoyed playing guess the colour of the Clinker games with was definitely challenging. Not to mention the other plate of perfectly broken off pieces of Rolo chocolate, delicately piled on top of one another ready for me to carelessly devour one by guilty one.

With these two bowls of cocoa scented droplets from the gods parked right under my nose I had to put in some serious coping mechanisms in order to prevent myself from chowing down. It's a strategy that I've only put into place recently myself and, whilst difficult, has been quite successful for me. Tell me if this situation sounds familiar...

"I walked into the cafe to get a flat white, on skim of course. Waiting for my coffee I perused the cake display. So many sparkling, colourful, sweet looking, sweet smelling cakes. My eyes locked onto one piece in particular. I began to focus on its features, it's perfectly spread icing, it's soft, bouncy texture, it's perfect cut with a decadent, fresh slither of cream between it's layers.. Should I have this cake? I am on a diet... But just look at it, how perfect it looks, how delicious I know it will be. Look at that frosting, I'm going to have it. I am having a skim coffee and I will work out later to compensate... It will be fine. I'm definitely going to have that awesome bit of cake."

Of course it does.

Are you going to workout later to compensate for that cake? No. (let alone the two hours on a cross-trainer that would require to undo)

Does the skim milk mean you can splash out on other things? Of course not.

Do you realise what just happened in this scenario? Maybe, maybe not. Do you know and just don't want to admit what you just put yourself through?

Think back to a time when you incidentally saw something forbidden and became slightly fixated until you had it. Your mind will think of all kinds of excuses, "but I-" "I'll just-". You'll also try to justify it to yourself. "It's okay because I've worked hard", "It's been a bad day, I deserve to enjoy this!". Not only does this happen, but this happens because you just keep staring at it. 

Staring or fixating on a bad food is what triggers all of these justifications and excuses to eat whatever it is you have just spotted. It is a lot harder to say no to yourself when you keep staring at it, pondering all the ways you can make it okay. It also gives you a longer period of time to try and bargain with yourself about it, longer to um and ah.

The easiest thing to do when you see a huge cake display window is to just walk away. It's that simple. Sure, these things do catch your eye with their bright lights and polished name plates, moist cakes and smooth icings, but don't look at it long enough to notice that. If you see it, have that quick glance and walk away. Busy yourself looking at something else like merchandise, business cards (in the coffee shop scenario), engage in a conversation with your friend with your back turned to the cakes, whatever you have to do to not have it in your field of vision. Even in the background, cake cases and similar display objects find a way to bury into your mind and plant the seeds of destruction.

This is easier than it sounds, I promise you. "How can I just look away from something that is right there? How do you tear yourself away from that?" you might ask. You just do. Distract yourself with something else, physically turn your back on it (yeah, metaphors!) or simply walk away until your coffee is done. Do not try to busy yourself by looking at the healthier options in the cake display, your eyes will wander and you'll be right back to square one. It might not seem like it, but it is a conscious choice to walk away from something like that. If you think it is too hard to do, then you are letting yourself or even wanting yourself to give in. Just divert your attention to something else entirely. If you stare at something in there for more than just one second, you could be in trouble.


This is how I managed to sit in front of not one, not two, but three plates full of some of my favourite chocolate and not touch one bit. Any time I did find myself scanning the table and they popped into my line of sight, I'd look elsewhere. I'd start a conversation. I'd physically turn a different direction so I could not "accidentally" see them. It is just that simple.


There is a part two to self control in these kinds of scenarios. I am by no means saying you should never ever eat something remotely bad for you or indulge in anything decadent once in a while. Every now and then there is nothing wrong with that. Here is the trick to it..

Never plan on the spot when you're going to indulge in a forbidden food, always plan ahead. 

Whilst food planning is always important to do ahead of time, this is equally true for little treats or naughty foods. For example, at the beginning of the week I knew that I would be attending my grandfather's birthday lunch. Being a birthday, I knew there would be cake. I examined the rest of my week, there were no other situations where I could be around a sweet food and made a conscious decision ahead of time that I will have a small piece of cake on the day.

This works well in two ways. Firstly, it takes out all of the pressure umm-ing and ahh-ing about whether or not to eat something bad spontaneously. You have no inner struggle so you do not feel pressured or even as guilty for eating it. It was a well thought out, rational decision. The second way this works is that it is also a huge motivator for the rest of the week. If you do find yourself tempted, you can remind yourself "I won't have this because I know later in the week I am having cake". It satisfies that urgency by knowing that in the near future, you will get to have something just as good. It also makes it easier to walk away from.

"Sorry toots, my forbidden food quota is full for the week, perhaps another time cheesecake, perhaps another time."

-MM